My new bag is ready, new shoes, laptop charged, water bottle, and a snack. Ready for my big day!
Today I will put a face to the name of so many virtual people that I have been in touch with for the past couple of months. OISE is a huge institution, and for the time to come for me, to become even a tiny part of it! that is such a huge leap!
I got into the room, I was early as usual! I could feel the energy in the room, it was positive! Faculty members had sincere smiles on their faces. I felt welcomed, but I couldn't stop the loud voice in my head shouting out loud " you are a stranger!!!"
I felt so lonely, almost everyone around me knew Toronto well and lives in Canada! I felt I was the only one who has no idea at all about what the hell was going on!!!
I kept trying so hard to handle my anxiety in a positive way! yet after the session was done! I ran away back home!
Usually, when I reach this point of uncertainty in my life, I get fueled up to raise again and fight! This time I feel so weak and I don't know what should I do next?
Is it the right time to Quit ? Go back and forget about this dream! just lock it up in an old closet with all the old dreams that never came true ?
I wish there was an ear to listen to me now! arms to hug me ! and words to reassure me !
But it is my fate to face my worst nightmares all alone!
I hope next blog will hold more positiveness!
Goodnight for now!
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